It was a wild night at The Detroit Zoo. We saw a beaver. That was the extent of animal sightings during our stroll around Wild Lights! Even the beaver jokes were tame because of the presence of children. For that I am proud of me and my fellows.
A celebration of lights! So many holiday lights plugged in to wander around. Towns full of them. Scores of scenic drives twinkling. All of that has illuminated the fact that because of light pollution we need to manufacture a sparkling spectacle.
In the days of yore our ancestors simply laid back and were mesmerized by the universe. Which, at the time was seen spinning around us. Yet trading it in for the DTE meter to spin seems a bit. Lackluster.
Getting out and strolling with friends and family is a worthy cause nonetheless and brightens these eves of masked...mayhem. Hey didn't anyone notice that none of the MAGA mob wore a mask. Anyway.
President Donald J. Trump made history yesterday by being the only President to be impeached twice. In a statement he said, "Once again, I'm the best."
We racked up 57 billion minutes of 'The Office' making it the most streamed show of 2020. Let's see - 5 days a week, 8 hours a day plus commute...nah, still rather watch it than be in it.
90 minutes of inauguration coverage will be hosted by Tom Hanks on Jan20th. Billed as an 'opportunity to spotlight the resilience and spirit of an America united.' Nothing says "American unity" like a host broadcasting from his compound in Greece.
My wife turned the kitchen lights on and then started heading downstairs to watch TV. Seeing this unfold I, having turned into my step-father, asked, "Why are we leaving the lights on." She responded, "I want it to feel homey."
Having no retort for what was to be the unseen ambience spotlighting the homey-ness of the kitchen, my thought was not taking Homey D. Clown action but was, 'why not just imagine the lights are on while we're not in the room, how 'bout we do that.' I am blessed with the superpower to think thoughts and not have them form words. Words like an hour into whichever Netflix show we were watching formed the following phrase, "Babe it's so homey upstairs, I love you."
Could things get any worse for Bill Belichick? 1st Brady leaves town, then the Patriots miss the playoffs. To pour salt into the wound and kick him while he's down, the President wants to award him the Medal of Freedom. No way Donald J.!
We are going to have an unlimited supply of organs for transplant. United Therapeutics is working toward that goal within 2 years by having modified pigs so that our bodies would not reject the organs. So you can get a new heart and then eat all the bacon from the donor to clog it's own heart.
If Chuck Norris had been involved in the MAGA coup he would have delivered 307 electoral votes for himself with one roundhouse kick.
Stage left of the darkened Original Room sat Jeff Scott. His musical interludes bridged the gap between comics and when our stagetime was up the neon star on the wall behind him would ignite, a halo of blue above an absolute angel.
He was the showrunner, make no mistake, keeping the OR flow and energy on track. Jeff was a friend to all, a frenemy to some, and an all around wonderful human being to have shared time and space. On those tough days, his frown didn't last long after the lights came down. Outside The Store his makeup magic made the make-believe world of Hollywood come to life.
I appreciate you for keeping my nights in the booth and on stage at The World Famous worthy of a life well lived. Be blessed Jeff.
Lots of people around me are quitting. Giving up. Shaking loose the shackles of syndrome-infused lockdowns and face masks. Folks strolling in the sunshine no matter the temperature is normal but bellying up to a table on a sidewalk seems a little too forced. Trying too hard.
But when my 95 year old grandma throws down the gauntlet of "you don't have to wear that mask around me," maybe we should listen to our elders. Force normalcy and let the chips fall where they may. Quit thinking your insurance company won't be asking you if you smoke, exercise or wear a mask.
I quit concerning myself over all of it AND follow protocols in public, while in private I follow the lead of those I love. But I will not quit concerning myself with improbable deniability of death and the overworked devastation of health care workers.
Elaine Chao quit her job as Secretary of Transportation. Do you know how rich you have to be to quit your job in the middle of a pandemic. F%&#ing Mitch McConnell rich
U.S. Rep Matt Gaetz claimed antifa was caught by facial recognition in the mob that overran Congress. Going full Trumpian, Mr. Gaetz has been unable to recognize himself using the original facial recognition technology - a mirror.
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle dumped their duties as royals a year ago and have followed it up with shutting off their social media. They will love their completely normal life having every move they make being followed in person.
My parents were still in New York visiting family when they called to check in. Having left their teenage son home, alone, to uh watch the house. I came clean, because it seemed better to come clean with distance between rather than wait for a face-to-face admission of having thrown a party in which the Police showed up to dismantle the fun and frolic of teenagers.
There were no details to leave out. Nothing major happened, just loudness that neighbors did not seem accustomed to that late in the evening. Lying and omission are not my strong suits. To a fault, but a fault I will keep close so that I continue to be able to look you in the eye speaking the truth as I see it without omission, without lies.
Article II of the Constitution of the United States says, "Each State shall appoint, in such Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Number of Electors..." If I were to stop there, like some Senators decided would be a good idea, I would be able to argue that there may have been a party but really it was only, like 11 of us, and we weren't even that loud.
Leaving out the fact of how the State Legislatures have chosen to 'in such Manner...direct' is a super-big-fat-chasmic omission that wearing an american flag face mask while you speak of it is a gross abuse of power. State elections are the manner in which we choose the electors. Period.
Ted Cruz through a house party trying to be the cool kid in school. After a few uninvited guests showed up and tore up the place he did what any self-respecting '80's movie protagonist would do. Blamed everybody else.
Scotland told President Trump he is not welcome to visit the country to play golf. He posted a video of him playing his course on PGA Tour 2K21 yelling, "Yes I can!"
The UK's first order of Brexit business was scrapping the "value-added" tax on tampons. The EU holds that menstrual cycle products are a luxury. British officials added, "This is symbolic of the fact that cross-border flow is a necessity."
Going to extremes was once a normal, everyday, anything in my way kind of daily play. Now a worthy mix of peak and valley, waves washing ashore with a calm to restore my mindful presence is more likely.
Is does not come naturally. It's a tie-breaking vote everyday but the guidance I gain from reading and referencing the wisdom of those around me keeps my middle mettle strong enough on most days to successfully participate in my life with a #SereneSwagger.
Super hopeful and vocal that some middle mettle will begin leading the government. The pendulum swing from one extreme to the other is dizzying and delaying the success of supporting the strides we need to move forward.
In the Georgia runoff election their were 11,708 write in votes for Trump. JK. But that's what his staff will tell him this morning.
The Polar Vortex has split in two. That makes Mother Nature the Yoko Ono of the planet.
The CIA rebranded itself as a Netflix original series.
be blessed with #SereneSwagger y'all!
Life is too short. That depends on what you are doing daily, with each moment. Move toward a purpose, forward with friendly frenzy. Play 'til you hear the whistle.
We don't have a bell to ring so I found a whistle that my wife could blow to call me to her side and care for any of her needs and a few worthy wants. The muscles of the back can be a finicky lot and when they don't want to move toward any purpose the incapacitation can be disheartening and disturbingly painful. Blow the whistle and help is on the way.
The price of blue fin tuna is down $170 million yen at the first auction of 2021. In a related story my cats didn't want the off brand can I tried to feed them this morning. They are unable to blow a whistle.
The Detroit Lions continue to face their arch nemesis and perennial rival in the NFC North. The referees.
Lou Dobbs is amazed that no evidence can be found to support any claims of election fraud. Fox Business is reviving a cable news adaptation of Sherlock Holmes. Dobbs will play Watson.
Devin Nunes will receive the Medal of Freedom from a president who thinks he won the Nobel Peace Prize. Trump will also present the Jacksonville Jaguars with the Lombardi Trophy.
The only thing I have control of is, sometimes, my attitude. Mondays are magic. Especially the 1st Monday of the year. I get to revive my daily, day-to-day, fiscal responsibilities and set the tone for how the week, the month, the year will unfold.
Make the most of Monday so that the remaining days of the work week flow like water, be it surfboard or snorkel. Mondays are for preparation, of catastrophe and celebration, which allows my attitude of gratitude to welcome all of the withered and wilds washing ashore.
President-elect Joe Biden is replacing the inaugural parade with a short walk. He hopes to reach the White House at exactly 10,000 steps in a show of solidarity for all seniors getting in their daily steps.
President Trump called Georgia's Secretary of State and asked him to "find votes" that would make Trump the winner in Georgia. Republicans are currently searching under every confederate flag to find missing votes.
The coronavirus has mutated into an even more contagious strain. When asked for comment COVID-19 said, "I'm just trying to keep up with misinformation."
Just met up with my dad in section 11. We built a little snow fort around and snow-packed a flower at the headstone of my grandparents. The trees, all frosted with snow. Quiet. Peaceful quiet, not creepy quiet. The tracks of what was hopefully not a giant wolf made a path nearby.
My Dad shared that my Grandma told him to, “Toss me in the dumpster. There’s a nice one out back,” referring to the nursing home’s sanitation collection device. This was not statement of self-worth mind you. Granny lived life to the end with a confident and serene swagger. She wanted no $ spent on a funeral because, as she noted, “I won’t know who’s there anyway.” Frugal and funny.
I try to convince my wife every day that I come by it genetically.
Ohio State spinal tapped Clemson for a chance to win a national championship. They may have only played 6 games for the Clemson coach, Dabo Swinney, to judge them but they turned it up to 11 vs. the Tigers.
Ted Cruz is leading 11 sed1t1ously susp1c1ous Senators contesting the election results, calling for a 10-day audit of...facts.
Janet Yellen made $7 million in speaking fees. That will be of interest during her confirmation hearings. GOP Senators will ask her for tips on how to become a person people want to listen to.
A friend forwarded this meme to commemorate New Year’s 2021...
I jokingly replied, “Don’t send this to addicts.” The syringe certainly represents a vaccine that may bring us all back to normalcy but this has also been a year unlike any other for folks to check out with drugs and alcohol.
And “nice.” Have a NICE 2021. That does seem appropriate. Don’t set the bar too high. Most of my messaging is ‘make it a great,’ or ‘make it a beautiful’ day/week, etc. Too lofty. But NICE. Yes, you know what, let’s just make it nice. Comfy. Cozy even. All of those adjectives are laid back words implying a sense of interpersonal ease with which to cruise through our day.
Whatever meme or message makes it into your mix know that you are not alone, no matter what.
Comedy Store trained, World-travelled, Cul-de-sac-living recovering comedian, husband and tinkerer of tools talking about time well spent!