Master of Fine Arts. nope. More Fruit Acceptance. sure. Multi-Factor Authentication. safety first.
Multi-Factor Authentication is like when I communicate with my parents. I call, they text. I text, they email. I email, they skywrite. If they answer right away you have to wait for each letter to get smoked out and just remain grateful it's a sunny day so that there is no confusion in the message.
When I log on I do not want to log in to log on and when I log in I do not want to log on to log in. I have a password, you send me a text. I give you my thumbprint you ask for my cornea. Soon we will have a fiber-optic cable connecting via our arterial artery so we can mainline the info highway.
Secure verification is the touchstone of authenticity.
My genetic gateway should've prompted me with, "Are you sure you want to post this blog with your current blood pressure?"
I have a number of keyboards strewn about my office. Finger facing, thumbing, mousing housing... All leaving me at some point with disjointed digits dinging in the dots and dashes.
But ain't no kitty like the one I got. My CatPal Tunnel Syndrome feline. Walter keeps my wrists and forearms warm and ergonomically locked in place. Cuddling in concert with keyboard composition makes for a blessed day.
There's a big hubbub about AWS and Google and Facebook and Twitter shutting down so-called "conservative" voices, leaving us all Parlerless.
Conspiracist complainers should go bake a cake...for a gay wedding. A conservative cake with a conspiracy filling should not be voiceless, no matter how tasteless. That I can agree. But you don't get to have your cake and eat it too. We are baking the wrong things into dishes best served cold.
You want to create a wining culture? Get down field and block for your running back like Baker Mayfield. That is impressive. The guy doesn't just hand it off and watch. He gets down field, blocks and picks them up after being tackled.
That's the kind of progressive insurance we need for a bright future, but getting downfield ain't gonna be a cakewalk.
big shout out to "Effah-V" for chocolate cake delivered to my gut today!
Mitch McConnell is so irate about the capitol insurrection and current state of the GOP, he spoke out against the president and other powerful people saying, "the mob was fed lies," adding, "that's my job!"
President Trump is throwing his own going away party on Inauguration Day. (it's so sad I do not feel it necessary to add a punchline)
When you lay your head on a MyPillow it's like an anti-deep-state loving embrace. You are immediately comforted by a fantasy world.
to know one. Brady and Brees are legends. Legendary. Their post-game meet & greet on the field last eve was just cool. They are the only guys that know what it's like to do what they do. They have a shared experience, continuing to excel year after year, decade after decade.
It is so important to find someone that has a shared experience. One that knows what you are talking about because they have lived it. To look another person in the eye and see ourselves is a blessing. The only person in the world who is unable to do that - Alexei Navalny.
He loves his country so much he returns to it after being poisoned, only to be arrested. Like, what! Name one person with the courage to look that guy in the eye and say, "I know what you're going through." Oh. Wait. America has an overwhelming amount of people with that shared experience.
Buccaneers head coach, Bruce Arians, is a huge Star Wars fan, walking the sideline last night looking like Darth Vader waiting for his suit to be dry-cleaned.
Tom Brady is the oldest player in the NFL to rush for a touchdown. Proving he can no longer do it with his arm.
Donald Trump was furious that the National Guard deployed to D.C. prior to the Biden inauguration until aides told him it was his going-away military parade.
It's not the campfire. It's not the cigar. It's the company. Sunshine on a January afternoon, the temperature in the high 30's, makes Michigan feel like 80. Exhaling onto the embers is suggested prior to lighting the cigar, so your lungs are aware of the task at hand - making flames, and don't hold back any effort.
Sharing that time and space is important. Though the flames never really charcoaled out the logs, conversation was set ablaze. Face to face conversation filtered through tobacco. Pretty great. The phone calls and Zooms and Teams keep a connection but lead to a lot of folks blowing smoke.
When you are staring down the business end of a cigar, truth billows. What a lovely way to spend a bit of the day. Catching up, chilling out, chatting about the whats what. Cigar or not, set yourself up with a friend or fellow and face off in a meaningful discussion about the good, the bad and the ugly you're facing today.
Be truthful. Ask insightful questions of one another.
Don't blow smoke.
Former Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder was charged in the Flint water crisis. He pled not guilty, appearing via Zoom with his Nestle appointed lawyer.
President-elect Joe Biden is seeking a $1.9 Trillion relief package. "1.9 Trillion dollars!" exclaims the GOP, "but we have wars to wage in Afghanistan and Iraq and taxes to cut for corporations and conservative values to enforce!"
Mossimo Giannulli asked to serve out his prison sentence at home. The court may allow the house arrest but in his daughter's dorm.
It was a wild night at The Detroit Zoo. We saw a beaver. That was the extent of animal sightings during our stroll around Wild Lights! Even the beaver jokes were tame because of the presence of children. For that I am proud of me and my fellows.
A celebration of lights! So many holiday lights plugged in to wander around. Towns full of them. Scores of scenic drives twinkling. All of that has illuminated the fact that because of light pollution we need to manufacture a sparkling spectacle.
In the days of yore our ancestors simply laid back and were mesmerized by the universe. Which, at the time was seen spinning around us. Yet trading it in for the DTE meter to spin seems a bit. Lackluster.
Getting out and strolling with friends and family is a worthy cause nonetheless and brightens these eves of masked...mayhem. Hey didn't anyone notice that none of the MAGA mob wore a mask. Anyway.
President Donald J. Trump made history yesterday by being the only President to be impeached twice. In a statement he said, "Once again, I'm the best."
We racked up 57 billion minutes of 'The Office' making it the most streamed show of 2020. Let's see - 5 days a week, 8 hours a day plus commute...nah, still rather watch it than be in it.
90 minutes of inauguration coverage will be hosted by Tom Hanks on Jan20th. Billed as an 'opportunity to spotlight the resilience and spirit of an America united.' Nothing says "American unity" like a host broadcasting from his compound in Greece.
My wife turned the kitchen lights on and then started heading downstairs to watch TV. Seeing this unfold I, having turned into my step-father, asked, "Why are we leaving the lights on." She responded, "I want it to feel homey."
Having no retort for what was to be the unseen ambience spotlighting the homey-ness of the kitchen, my thought was not taking Homey D. Clown action but was, 'why not just imagine the lights are on while we're not in the room, how 'bout we do that.' I am blessed with the superpower to think thoughts and not have them form words. Words like an hour into whichever Netflix show we were watching formed the following phrase, "Babe it's so homey upstairs, I love you."
Could things get any worse for Bill Belichick? 1st Brady leaves town, then the Patriots miss the playoffs. To pour salt into the wound and kick him while he's down, the President wants to award him the Medal of Freedom. No way Donald J.!
We are going to have an unlimited supply of organs for transplant. United Therapeutics is working toward that goal within 2 years by having modified pigs so that our bodies would not reject the organs. So you can get a new heart and then eat all the bacon from the donor to clog it's own heart.
If Chuck Norris had been involved in the MAGA coup he would have delivered 307 electoral votes for himself with one roundhouse kick.
Stage left of the darkened Original Room sat Jeff Scott. His musical interludes bridged the gap between comics and when our stagetime was up the neon star on the wall behind him would ignite, a halo of blue above an absolute angel.
He was the showrunner, make no mistake, keeping the OR flow and energy on track. Jeff was a friend to all, a frenemy to some, and an all around wonderful human being to have shared time and space. On those tough days, his frown didn't last long after the lights came down. Outside The Store his makeup magic made the make-believe world of Hollywood come to life.
I appreciate you for keeping my nights in the booth and on stage at The World Famous worthy of a life well lived. Be blessed Jeff.
Lots of people around me are quitting. Giving up. Shaking loose the shackles of syndrome-infused lockdowns and face masks. Folks strolling in the sunshine no matter the temperature is normal but bellying up to a table on a sidewalk seems a little too forced. Trying too hard.
But when my 95 year old grandma throws down the gauntlet of "you don't have to wear that mask around me," maybe we should listen to our elders. Force normalcy and let the chips fall where they may. Quit thinking your insurance company won't be asking you if you smoke, exercise or wear a mask.
I quit concerning myself over all of it AND follow protocols in public, while in private I follow the lead of those I love. But I will not quit concerning myself with improbable deniability of death and the overworked devastation of health care workers.
Elaine Chao quit her job as Secretary of Transportation. Do you know how rich you have to be to quit your job in the middle of a pandemic. F%&#ing Mitch McConnell rich
U.S. Rep Matt Gaetz claimed antifa was caught by facial recognition in the mob that overran Congress. Going full Trumpian, Mr. Gaetz has been unable to recognize himself using the original facial recognition technology - a mirror.
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle dumped their duties as royals a year ago and have followed it up with shutting off their social media. They will love their completely normal life having every move they make being followed in person.
My parents were still in New York visiting family when they called to check in. Having left their teenage son home, alone, to uh watch the house. I came clean, because it seemed better to come clean with distance between rather than wait for a face-to-face admission of having thrown a party in which the Police showed up to dismantle the fun and frolic of teenagers.
There were no details to leave out. Nothing major happened, just loudness that neighbors did not seem accustomed to that late in the evening. Lying and omission are not my strong suits. To a fault, but a fault I will keep close so that I continue to be able to look you in the eye speaking the truth as I see it without omission, without lies.
Article II of the Constitution of the United States says, "Each State shall appoint, in such Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Number of Electors..." If I were to stop there, like some Senators decided would be a good idea, I would be able to argue that there may have been a party but really it was only, like 11 of us, and we weren't even that loud.
Leaving out the fact of how the State Legislatures have chosen to 'in such Manner...direct' is a super-big-fat-chasmic omission that wearing an american flag face mask while you speak of it is a gross abuse of power. State elections are the manner in which we choose the electors. Period.
Ted Cruz through a house party trying to be the cool kid in school. After a few uninvited guests showed up and tore up the place he did what any self-respecting '80's movie protagonist would do. Blamed everybody else.
Scotland told President Trump he is not welcome to visit the country to play golf. He posted a video of him playing his course on PGA Tour 2K21 yelling, "Yes I can!"
The UK's first order of Brexit business was scrapping the "value-added" tax on tampons. The EU holds that menstrual cycle products are a luxury. British officials added, "This is symbolic of the fact that cross-border flow is a necessity."
Comedy Store trained, World-travelled, Cul-de-sac-living recovering comedian, husband and tinkerer of tools talking about time well spent!