I will start by reminding myself how much I love my parents. They’re fun. After 7 decades of rockin’ out life as it comes they get some leeway, some freedom to explore the nether regions of fear and news and epidemics. They missed the Spanish Flu so maybe they are just suffering from FOMO on our most recent virus veritas.
My family snowbirds in the Redneck Riviera, also known as the Gulf-Coast-Flobama-Alarida. A wonderful place with relaxing beaches and zip-lining and restaurants. Having the opportunity to escape the doldrums of winter, while also insisting that your family visit you so that they to can get out of snow banked depression, is cool. Unless an epidemic strikes and people start freaking out and you’re fed daily news that there won’t be any food or gas or toilet paper.
First and foremost. Toilet paper being hoarded is the perfect symbolic statement of what a shit-storm is when you don’t wash your hands and listen to whatever garbage news feed pops up in your timeline. If you are self-quarantining some extra rolls are worthy but why would there be a production shortage of paper. It stinks just thinking about it.
Blessed to be directed to stay put. Bummed to miss out on beach time. Directed to gather supplies in case of an early return by the snowbirds. I don’t have a Costco card. Nor do I have a desire to stock up on the canned goods and hunker-down supplies. Luckily if you do have an account you can have your supplies shipped anywhere. Thusly, we have become the distribution hub of the family fear factoring.
It surprises me that they would want to be home early. Enjoy the beach and your last breath. The reason given for the early return was that there could be a shortage of gas. If no one is going anywhere why would there be a gas shortage? A surplus is in order. Side note - folks not going anywhere has literally cleared the air in China. The fear of not being able to get home sucks. The fear that once you get home all you have to survive on is SPAM and toilet paper, personally that is much worse.
I look forward to seeing my parents again, sooner or later, but just in case I take solace in the fact that SPAM was the only remaining canned meat they could purchase and so I shall have an everlasting memory of their sacrifice.
Comedy Store trained, World-travelled, Cul-de-sac-living recovering comedian, husband and tinkerer of tools talking about time well spent!